Wal-Mart Mexicano

I seriously have to pick up the pace of these posts if I’m ever going to get through this entire trip. Which isn’t looking likely, seeing as how it’s already the fifth day of the trip, and the blog isn’t even caught up through Day 1.

By this time, Danielle, Debbie, and Andrew had been at the condo alone for more than an hour, probably closer to two. I discovered later that they were spending their time in the room waiting for us, worrying about when (and if) we’d actually arrive.

Their worry was probably justified, since we spent so long at the Wal-Mart in Puerto Vallarta. We must have spent more than two hours there, probably closer to three. Our flight landed at 3:30, and it was dark before we left Wal-Mart.

The Wal-Mart was a madhouse. There were people everywhere. Simply everywhere. Trying to move through the aisles was more difficult than making your way through Costco mid-day on a Saturday. What made it worse was that there was NO ORDER to the mobs. In Costco, people generally stick to the right, move their carts off to the side to browse, and obey general traffic laws when merging and turning. Apparently, such courtesies are neither necessary nor appropriate in the Mexican Wal-Mart. People were perfectly content leaving their carts in the middle of aisles while they browsed lazily through the cartons of eggs such that there was no chance of any cart passing in either direction. Strolling down the right or the left or the middle were all perfectly acceptable. I must confess, the shoppers did obey general rules of the road when they turned their carts right from the far left side of the aisle, darting in front of heavily laden moving carts, and physics dictates that these carts have a fair amount of momentum to them. Surprisingly, I didn’t see one collision.

Diet pop is a rarity in Mexico. Apparently coffee filters are, as well, as we never found any. My only relief came when I discovered the hidden diamond buried deep in the rough: the alcohol section. It was from this section that we purchased an entire gallon of Bacardi for $13 U.S.

It was also here that I had my first chance to butcher Spanish. Ironically, it was at the meat department. We had purchased everything we needed for sandwiches except for lunchmeat. So, thinking that Mom, who coordinated the whole purchasing effort, was close behind me, I approached the counter and looked at the various meats. The woman at the counter asked me what I wanted. For a moment, I froze.

I quickly regained my composure when I remembered the phrase, “No sé,” and things progressed from there. The woman gave me a sample of “pavo,” which I couldn’t remember until I had tried it – turkey. It was actually just fine. She asked how much I wanted. I managed to explain to her that I didn’t know, I’d have to go find my mom and ask how much she wanted.

When I found Mom, however, she was already in line with Dad paying. It was too late for meat for our sandwiches, she said, we’d just buy that at the small hotel store. We paid, packed our cart full with the booty, and made our way back to the car.

I thought this was going to be the end of our Wal-Mart adventure, but it wasn’t. Wal-Mart had security guards posted, checking receipts, similar to the procedure at Costco. We presented our receipt confidently, which we hadn’t reviewed previously. Turns out the woman at the register only gave of half of the receipt. We tried to explain to the security guard – who was a few inches shorter than me and probably weighed half as much – that that was how the woman at the register gave it to us. My Spanish wasn’t nearly up to the task, however, and when the guard called over his manager, we somehow managed to communicate a need to return to the register for the remainder of the receipt, if it was REALLY that important to them. It was.

Dad returned to the register with the manager, and came back quite a few minutes later with two halves of the receipt. With the security guard and the manager placated, and both my parents quite the opposite, we loaded the tiny car and then our laps with groceries, and headed to the hotel in the dark.